With Him

With you,

 

I didn’t write for a whole year Because I was so happy 

La la la In pretty dresses

My Sunday best

Your arms wrapped around me like a fuzzy cocoon

I didn’t want to wake up.

 

I wrap myself in blankets now

I traded dresses for trousers

I don’t wear much makeup anymore

I am starting to think it was all for you

 

Perhaps it’s all just a transaction in the end

 

But maybe now 

I will make my own cocoon 

And I will stop waking up at 3am  

wondering how a pillow replaced your chest.

 

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Rollercoaster Love

My life with you was a rollercoaster ride

I did not want to get off

I was used to the rise and fall in my tummy

Used to the chaos you brought

Used to the mess you left

 

There were nights when I was tucked into him

peaceful, quiet, safe,

Where I longed for your fast paced kiss.

By Night

By night, the map of your body

is like the warmth of sunlight on my hands.

I swear

I could,

with     dancing    fingertips 

trace your outline continuously

Until insanity      

came for me.

Phantom Lover

In my darkest hour

I always felt you near

Although I cannot see you

I know that you are here.

 

My Joy

I am convinced I had not known pure joy until I met you.

Of course, I had felt sunbeams on my face and seen beauty in sunsets and the sound of the ocean. Heard a baby’s laugh and slept in someone’s arms that I loved. Seen snowflakes and sunrises and many wondrous things. But I would have given up all pleasures of the world for you. It is not a secret that you will never stop dazzling me. I had never known beauty until you and I would not be surprised if I lived my whole life and never found wonder again.

Coffee Stained Love

The morning I left, I left you in bed

with a coffee-stained love note.

My shirt, only half tucked in,

My hair only half done, a loose bun,

but I was  halfway out the door

with one shoe on and a triangle of toast

dangling from my cherry red lips.

 

How I did not kiss you goodbye  in fear of branding you bloody

How whilst on my early commute to work

I wished I had.