I missed you before we even met
And we loved each other,
Once before, in another life, we said.
You were so familiar to me,
You were pain
And happily ever after
In another time,
I can still see your face,
You reminded me of a Monday morning cigarette break
That between awake and asleep
the day away
With my rolled-up heart
Charred around the edges
Wishing for white sheets and plump pillows
But lusting for the blackness
That came with your presence.
Your kiss with its darkness
And your charcoal throat
The same warmth
that arrived with a raspy inhalation
of smoke through nose to chest,
My tar lungs and cigarette breath.
Burnt out amber
Of orange and black
Sparks against pavement
The miniature fireworks
Under my fake Laboutin shoe.
You were my
Narcotic, Insomniac Addiction
Darling, Come Monday morning
I thought of you.
It’s always hard when someone is in love with the idea of you
Like One false move
One wrong step
And your porcelain image will shatter in front of them,
Cracks will appear
To reveal your weaknesses and your downfalls and your past mistakes
And you will no longer be this out of reach
You are real and raw and you shit and you cry
And you are so imperfect
So backwards in your flawlessness
It’s the artificial parts of you that they blood lust after
Not the thoughts, emotions and feelings that overwhelm
It scares them that a pretty little thing can feel so much
Of course they run away
As fast as they can
With the hope that cracks do not appear
in the next porcelain beauty.
‘Cause I was filled with poison
And blessed with beauty and rage’
In the most industrial sense of the word
Black smoke engulfed mess of a woman,
You still stayed with my broken glass
and my chaotic mind
Soul sold to the devil.
I told you to stay,
From my lace licked lies
Of red lipped neuroticism,
Do not love me
For You will never be free,
With the devil in me.
Yellow daffodils that matched her dress
The sun in her eyes as she lay down to rest
She waited and waited for him to arrive
But the day it grew cold
As she opened her eyes,
Where are you? She wondered
Heartbeat in mouth
The sun it was going
Tears they fell down
Creases in dress as she whispered his name
It was spring when he left
And spring when he came.
– Tina Rose