Porcelain Beauty

It’s always hard when someone is in love with the idea of you

Like One false move

One wrong step

And your porcelain image will shatter in front of them,

Cracks will appear

To reveal your weaknesses and your downfalls and your past mistakes

And you will no longer be this out of reach

human

beauty

porn-star.

You are real and raw and you shit and you cry

And you are so imperfect

So wayward

So backwards in your flawlessness

It’s the artificial parts of you that they bloodlust after

Not the thoughts, emotions and feelings that overwhelm

you

It scares them that a pretty little thing can feel so much

And so

Of course, they run away

As fast as they can

With the hope that cracks do not appear

in the next porcelain beauty.

Yellow Daffodils

You see that I don’t look so good in yellow, like your other dolls they do.

🌼

Yellow daffodils that matched her dress

The sun in her eyes as she lay down to rest,

She waited and waited for him to arrive

But the day it grew cold

As she opened her eyes,

Where are you? She wondered

Heartbeat in mouth,

The sun it was going

Tears they fell down

Creases in dress as she whispered his name,

It was spring when he left

And spring when he came.

 

Away

I went to the Irish countryside

to get away from you

To breathe the clearer air in

To breathe you out for good.

Myself, ah, I found myself again!

 

I found Laughter

a cabin in the woods.

Thank goodness

Ireland made me a home,

Because I was never home

with you.

 

In Rathdrum, County Wicklow

mountains, streams,

and forestry,

A little farm

away from you,

You far away from me.

 

How refreshing to wake up to birdsong

instead of your mother tongue,

When you would drown me in water kisses.

How you would laugh

as I held my breath 

counting, 1,2,3

 

screaming

internally

1,2,3

Let me go let me go 

let me leave.

Fight for Us

I always thought we’d find our way back together, somehow, sometime, someplace.                                                                                    And we did. But we were older and we had changed.

You had made me cold.

You left. You were always good at walking away.

You did not look back this time.

You should have told me that you wanted to fight.

Porcelain Beauty

It’s always hard when someone is in love with the idea of you

Like One false move

One wrong step

And your porcelain image will shatter in front of them,

Cracks will appear

To reveal your weaknesses and your downfalls and your past mistakes

And you will no longer be this out of reach

human

beauty

porn-star.

You are real and raw and you shit and you cry

And you are so imperfect

So wayward

So backwards in your flawlessness

It’s the artificial parts of you that they blood lust after

Not the thoughts, emotions and feelings that overwhelm

you

It scares them that a pretty little thing can feel so much

And so

Of course they run away

As fast as they can

With the hope that cracks do not appear

in the next porcelain beauty.

-Tina Rose