I think you were waiting for me to tell you that you were off the hook three years of your life wasted the sigh of relief at breaking the contract the oath of the long haul smashed my heart in pieces and ate the soft centre the look of surprise as though you were unaware there would be sharp edges blood dripping from your mouth onto our white pillows the ones we bought in the Zara home sale will you still remember my name five years from now and my lollipop tongue will you miss my smell my laugh and think of me sometimes like pepper spray to the eyes it will hurt like the pain I felt when you left remember the Ikea furniture flat pack all over our living room floor there is still a pink stain on the wall from the wine glass I smashed in a temper tantrum like a child I throw things and like an adult you walk away from me but difference is you don’t come back I leave the mark there for proof that I did not imagine our love that felt like forever but turned into regret what do you do when it is painful to stay and painful to go I think I will sit here and wait I think you will walk as fast as you can away from that rollercoaster girl.
That was how I loved you in the end
From the top of a cliff
A leap of faith in the dark
with grasping reaching arms
if you were at the bottom
to catch me
Move on, my mother told me.
If you wait for him,
you will be an old woman.
But how long does someone wait
when they would walk through fire
to reach you?
You told me the love story of how your mother and father met. They were young. They loved and left. Three years later they found each other again, somehow, by chance. Love returned. I loved this story. I guess, I thought, if I waited long enough you would come back to me too. We would have that epic love story that was always on the precipice, on the tips of our tongues, in the way you would look at me, in the way I would look at you. But the years passed, in seasons, in ups and downs, as life always does, and we did cross paths, lives, even bodies; I let you into my home, my bed. But you were a visitor and you never quite returned to me. You were older now, ambitious, but still the same to me. I was older now too, you said, all grown up, 25. It’s funny. But in my mind I was still 22, right there where you left, like a child I stood, just waiting for you to come back home.
You were with me when I had my mid-twenties crisis
And cut off all of my hair
Even you could not save me from myself
I know you would try
Madness runs in my family, I’d say, laughing
A cherry stem between my teeth
Chunks of midnight hair in my hands.
My Acrostic poem for International Women’s Day 2019.
W ild Women, hear us roar. We have been rising from the ashes for years. Did you see us coming?
O ur ability to be what we want to be in Society today. The votes, the choices we have. The sacrifices our predecessors made. But how many women all over the world are still fighting to get their voices heard?
M en we call you to arms to support us as we promise to support you. We know the world is tough on you too.
E pitome of strength and courage. Do you hear how fierce our hearts beat? Does it scare you or does it make you proud? Of your daughters, your sisters?
N ow it is our time to remind the world of our journey. Do you see how far we have come? Do you see how far we have still to go?
I often see folklore tales in my dreams
Of sorceress women and waning witches
With ropes around their necks or flailing in black waters
They are always beautiful
with night sky skin and milky white eyes
but the men who hunt them say
Their beauty is threatening just like
The runes and healing stones that they clutch to their breasts
What do they know? Is always the question,
a crystal ball, a palm reading, a fortune-tellers kiss,
Look what I see, they say in unison, a smile playing on their lips,
each with a single tarot card between their teeth.
That little room with bright yellow walls
How we laughed our way through the winter and summer
I hope yellow paint will always remind you
of my sunshine smile
My outdoor inside voice
My head on your chest
I hope you look back and think of that year together as magic
a time where you felt true happiness
I hope you meet another girl with a wild soul too
I hope you will be kind when she finds you.
-Yellow is the brightest color of the visible spectrum, and it is the most noticeable of all colors by the human eye. It means happiness and optimism; it is the color of sun shining, or bright light and creativity. … It is the color of high energy, enthusiasm, hope, fun, and cheerfulness.
The October full moon came,
In autumn leaves
In death and chances,
A circle of milky white magic,
against a starless black tablecloth
with Halloween next door
In grey fog and amongst orange pumpkins
Black ravens flocked,
I said my curses
I spoke my wishes,
The witches were out
swirled through the air, thick and fast,
My October gift to you.
And your name will pop up every blue moon as a warning mainly, remember him?
The friends who knew me then will say I loved you far too much, such a mistake they say, we are so happy you are in a better place.
Because there was love and then there was him.
But they do not know I am still right where you left. Eighteen, with bright wide eyes, my chaotic mind and wonky heart, still waiting for you to come back. I swear, this lifetime will pass in winters and summers, in life and death, and I will still love you. Years and decades will come and I will search for you in other people, I will see you in crowds, will swear I glimpsed your face for only a moment.
Because ours was a wildfire love.
It spread too quickly and before we could say slow down, we were engulfed, We were too caught up in each other, With each red and orange flame licked kiss bringing us to the precipice of our messed up teenage romance.
Because there was love and then there was us.