Tag: books

Burnt

Move on, my mother told me.

If you wait for him,

you will be an old woman.

But how long does someone wait

when they would walk through fire

to reach you?

Wildfire Love

And your name will pop up every blue moon as a warning mainly, remember him?

The friends who knew me then will say I loved you far too much, such a mistake they say, we are so happy you are in a better place.

Because there was love and then there was him.

But they do not know I am still right where you left. Eighteen, with bright wide eyes, my chaotic mind and wonky heart, still waiting for you to come back. I swear, this lifetime will pass in winters and summers, in life and death, and I will still love you. Years and decades will come and I will search for you in other people, I will see you in crowds, will swear I glimpsed your face for only a moment.

Because ours was a wildfire love.

It spread too quickly and before we could say slow down, we were engulfed,                    We were too caught up in each other,                                                                                        With each red and orange flame licked kiss bringing us to the precipice                              of our messed up teenage romance.

Because there was love and then there was us.

My Joy

I am convinced I had not known pure joy until I met you.

Of course, I had felt sunbeams on my face and seen beauty in sunsets and the sound of the ocean. Heard a baby’s laugh and slept in someone’s arms that I loved. Seen snowflakes and sunrises and many wondrous things. But I would have given up all pleasures of the world for you. It is not a secret that you will never stop dazzling me. I had never known beauty until you and I would not be surprised if I lived my whole life and never found wonder again.

Chess Piece Lover

Before the move;

Ape, murmur, obey.

I am twin of your voice

Mirror it

 

What a shame I wear day

As though I were insane,

You obedient with moves, bold echoing

motions, image, moods

 

Until you rock the enemy

Then you move

The chess piece starter

 

How incredible

to be grown, sensible,

whilst I maddening.

 

 

 

 

 

With You

With you,

I didn’t write for a whole year

Because I was so happy,

La la la

In pretty dresses,

My Sunday best,

Your arms warm

wrapped around me like a

fuzzy cocoon,

I didn’t want to wake up.

 

I wrap myself in blankets now,

I traded dresses for trousers,

I don’t wear much makeup anymore;

I am starting to think it was all for you.

Maybe it was,

Perhaps it’s all just a transaction in the end.

 

Perhaps  now I’ll make my own cocoon

And

I will stop waking up at 3am,  wondering how a pillow replaced your chest.

Porcelain Beauty

It’s always hard when someone is in love with the idea of you

Like One false move

One wrong step

And your porcelain image will shatter in front of them,

Cracks will appear

To reveal your weaknesses and your downfalls and your past mistakes

And you will no longer be this out of reach

human

beauty

porn-star.

You are real and raw and you shit and you cry

And you are so imperfect

So wayward

So backwards in your flawlessness

It’s the artificial parts of you that they bloodlust after

Not the thoughts, emotions and feelings that overwhelm

you

It scares them that a pretty little thing can feel so much

And so

Of course, they run away

As fast as they can

With the hope that cracks do not appear

in the next porcelain beauty.