The wild girls run
With Hellhound hearts
and pretty boys who did not stand a chance
and mistakes they held like trophies
All the things you’d say to make them stay
The come-to-bed eyes, the bottles of gin, used matches
an Intoxication anomaly but
There is fire in you yet, your mother said,
Do you remember? That guilt you never wore again.
I didn’t write for a whole year Because I was so happy
La la la In pretty dresses
My Sunday best
Your arms wrapped around me like a fuzzy cocoon
I didn’t want to wake up.
I wrap myself in blankets now
I traded dresses for trousers
I don’t wear much makeup anymore
I am starting to think it was all for you
Perhaps it’s all just a transaction in the end
But maybe now
I will make my own cocoon
And I will stop waking up at 3am
wondering how a pillow replaced your chest.
My life with you was a rollercoaster ride
I did not want to get off
I was used to the rise and fall in my tummy
Used to the chaos you brought
Used to the mess you left
There were nights when I was tucked into him
peaceful, quiet, safe,
Where I longed for your fast paced kiss.
By night, the map of your body
is like the warmth of sunlight on my hands.
with dancing fingertips
trace your outline continuously
came for me.