Distance

 

Distance came to me a year later,

Tall and handsome,

he had not changed.

 

But, You haven’t known Distance.

Not until he says hello,

and you can’t recognise his voice anymore

 

Until he hugs you

and his arms

feel foreign,

 

Until you breathe him in

but his scent has been

forgotten.

 

I was certain I only knew Distance

once you were no longer familiar

to me.

 

But two years later,

Distance came again,

and

I welcomed him back

like an old friend.

 

 

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Keaton

You were cushion dimples and

creased white sheets,

forgotten books under a canopy bed.

We slept back to back

Our little fortress in tact

But with no intimacy.

We settled,

Rushing through chapters

Just a quick page turn

before the happy ending with somebody else.

 

The silence.

The stay or go…

Be sweltering hot or freeze?

Let’s sit on the fence for years.

 

The tensed arm around my shoulders

The cliché in the movie theatre

My too-high pitched giggle

The smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes,

That I love you kiss that felt more like you are comfortable to me.

The familiar taste of coffee on your mouth,

Flat white,

We kissed with eyes open.

It wasn’t love that we had and we knew it.

It wasn’t anything, anymore.

But why do I still stay with you, when it’s true you’re not really the one?

And why don’t I just keep on looking for him?

Because once I found him, but now he is gone.

He Wore Forgiveness Well

A soul mate is the one who can drag you giggling with forgiveness from the cellar they locked you in.
– SierraDeMuller

 

He wore forgiveness well.

with his half smile and buttoned up shirt

the slight hesitation before he kissed my cheek

the half-hearted apology

 

Ex’s come back to haunt

Dead bodies rise up to the surface in the end

Even when you spend your life burying them

The ghosts in the closet were part of you

You broke my pretty red heart in two.

 

But

He wore forgiveness well.

with his half smile and buttoned up shirt

the slight hesitation before he kissed my cheek

the half-hearted apology.

 

 

-Tina Rose

 

 

The Leech

The

Leech.

Blood letting

but ornamental

black horned devil

shiny black exterior

slick with tar

ridged

but with the smoothest of words

the slimy semantics

gasping

hair pulling

Kisses to neck

sucking

Breasts wet with sweat

From caressing to biting

From wanting to leeching

my Hirudotherapy necessity

You were a double standard

paradox,

all in black.

Your teeth latched

to my heart,

A contradiction

holding my throat,

‘I’m no Romeo or Prince Charming,

darling,

Just a black, empty soul.’

You are an anxiety attack

Because I think about you and my blood turns to ice

and my first instinct

Is to curl into a ball and protect myself.

You are an anxiety attack.

My breaths come out in

short gasps

heart palpitations

I want to scratch you

out from the inside of my brain with fingernails filled with blood from scratching at the love bites you left on my neck.

You always had a way with words

But I wonder what you’d say if I told you,

you make me want to kill myself.

The Ice Man

Egotistical gargoyle of a man

With your pretentious stance

and stoic brain,

with your harsh edges

and stone cold hands

you could have killed

a man

with that ice

that you possess

with the robotic coldness

of your presence.

 

The ice will never melt

Even when you try to love him with your

Red hot fire heart

that beats in a rib cage of flames,

 

He will not hesitate to put it out.

I See You

 

I see you in 2012-2013

I see you in the roses in the meadows that grow near my house
I see you in the sun
I see you in March when you came into my life
And I see you in April when you left.
I see you in poetry books
I see you in every charmer
I see you in every gentleman
I see you in your navy blue dressing gown.
I see you in every Runaway Joe
I see your lips on the nape of my neck
I see you with words
I see you on the grass listening to Beethoven
the sun on your face.
I see you every time I watch Batman
I see you in every blade of grass
I see you on Skype
I see you in every set of blue eyes
I see you at your desk staring out of the window
I see you in robots and heavy metal music
I see you in my Lego ring
I see you from Twickenham to Whitton.
I see you in Old House
I see you in your suit and tie
I see you in Dom.
I see you when I’m drunk
I see you in the Midlands
I see you in Watsky
I see you in the colour red
I see you in texts
I see you in passing ships
I see you in northern accents
I see you in gravy and chips.
I see you in every cup of English tea
I see you on the bus back from Varsity.
I see you drunk, walking, holding my hand
I see your fingers interlocking with mine
I see you in every tall man.
I see you in Kingston
I see you on top of me when it’s him
I see you in Spring.
I see you in every hello
but every goodbye.
I see you in your long black coat
I see you in every spoken word poet
I see you in every hug debt
I see you on SnapChat.
I see you in animated movies
I see you in gargoyles
And pictures of demons
I see you in funny youtube videos.
I see you in Rives
And I see you in the sunflower he spoke of.
I see you in every thumb war
I see you in every love bite
I see you on Strawberry Hill
And I love you still.

When You Said You Could Not Stay

And all the words you ever said,

They all reside inside my head.

The promises you made,

The memories

They fade.

The songs we did not play,

The kisses gone to waste

When you said you could not stay.

-Tina Rose

I can still feel your arms even now

Maybe I wouldn’t be so messed up in the head

If we’d never met,

Knowing that night I should have left,

But I clung to your bed

With my head on your chest.

I can still feel your arms,

Even now.

-Tina Rose

The Breaths She Took

 

And in wishing to be loved by him,

She forgot about all the people

That did love her

That did want her.

The hearts she stole

And shattered

Without meaning to.

The breaths she took,

The tears she left.

She was so blinded

in search for him,

That she saw no other.

-Tina Rose