Keaton

You were cushion dimples and

creased white sheets,

forgotten books under a canopy bed.

We slept back to back

Our little fortress in tact

But with no intimacy.

We settled,

Rushing through chapters

Just a quick page turn

before the happy ending with somebody else.

 

The silence.

The stay or go…

Be sweltering hot or freeze?

Let’s sit on the fence for years.

 

The tensed arm around my shoulders

The cliché in the movie theatre

My too-high pitched giggle

The smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes,

That I love you kiss that felt more like you are comfortable to me.

The familiar taste of coffee on your mouth,

Flat white,

We kissed with eyes open.

It wasn’t love that we had and we knew it.

It wasn’t anything, anymore.

But why do I still stay with you, when it’s true you’re not really the one?

And why don’t I just keep on looking for him?

Because once I found him, but now he is gone.

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He Wore Forgiveness Well

A soul mate is the one who can drag you giggling with forgiveness from the cellar they locked you in.
– SierraDeMuller

 

He wore forgiveness well.

with his half smile and buttoned up shirt

the slight hesitation before he kissed my cheek

the half-hearted apology

 

Ex’s come back to haunt

Dead bodies rise up to the surface in the end

Even when you spend your life burying them

The ghosts in the closet were part of you

You broke my pretty red heart in two.

 

But

He wore forgiveness well.

with his half smile and buttoned up shirt

the slight hesitation before he kissed my cheek

the half-hearted apology.

 

 

-Tina Rose

 

 

I can still feel your arms even now

Maybe I wouldn’t be so messed up in the head

If we’d never met,

Knowing that night I should have left,

But I clung to your bed

With my head on your chest.

I can still feel your arms,

Even now.

-Tina Rose

His Eyes Were Cold

But your chapter in my life is at an end,

But I promise to miss you until we meet again.

And when they ask,

I’ll say it was not love, but it could have been.

I’ll say your eyes were cold

And mine too warm.

-Tina Rose

In Another Life

I missed you before we even met

And we loved each other,

Once before, in another life, we said.

You were so familiar to me,

You were pain

and tears

and laughter

And happily ever after

In another time,

Another existence.

I can still see your face,

Even now.

-Tina Rose

Porcelain Beauty

It’s always hard when someone is in love with the idea of you

Like One false move

One wrong step

And your porcelain image will shatter in front of them,

Cracks will appear

To reveal your weaknesses and your downfalls and your past mistakes

And you will no longer be this out of reach

human

beauty

porn-star.

You are real and raw and you shit and you cry

And you are so imperfect

So wayward

So backwards in your flawlessness

It’s the artificial parts of you that they blood lust after

Not the thoughts, emotions and feelings that overwhelm

you

It scares them that a pretty little thing can feel so much

And so

Of course they run away

As fast as they can

With the hope that cracks do not appear

in the next porcelain beauty.

-Tina Rose