We Found Wonderland

‘And in the end in wonderland we both went mad.’- T.S

It was that cheshire cat smile that did it

I was half in love, half afraid, I saw you through the looking glass

I would look at you like you were my favourite magic trick, a coin behind my ear, a tale on your tongue, how you held me close and licked your lips

We’re all mad here, you would say, your eyes crazed, a match between your sharpened teeth,

You could set yourself on fire and laugh, I am sure of it

But I was always too scared to tell you,

that I had seen madness,

but only in a boy from Pennsylvania

who didn’t know how to love me.

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The Vacation Girl and The Men who Came to See Her

I am a dream holiday

A winning lottery ticket

A pre-suicidal Marilyn

Narcotic Beauty

They say, being with me is like chasing a fantasy

I’m always almost certain the novelty will wear off

What a curse it is, to be the type of woman who comes afterwards

to men who have already seen the world.

When you know he will go back to where he started off all along,

When you leave for vacation you always come home.

Starlit Witch

Scarlett hair and skin so fair

He wondered how such beauty?

A raven dream

A sex fuelled scream 

Such unaltered mutiny 

A witchcraft smile

magic for a while

but she was stardust poisoned

with vanity

Do not love a starlit witch

filled with lust depravity.

The Wolves They Came In Packs

When the wolf fell in love with the girl.

When the leader of the wolf gang looks your way in

worn out leather and faded tattoos

Believe him when he says he is no good, he had lived longer than you

Ah but his smile, that jawline, his hands on the small of your back

You felt safe for the first time in your life, really, despite the bad. 

He always smelt like hard whisky and smoke

Handsome with age

Hardened with age 

You wouldn’t cross him

If only by mistake like the time you smiled at that man across the bar

But you knew this whisky wolf loved you, really

He would scream it at you all the time, he’d steal flowers from the cemetery too, See I can be Romantic, he’d say, 

absent mother, abusive father, you never once saw him cry

You remember the wind in your hair, wild motorbike rides, 

Dancing on bars 

and tequila shots backwards, 

That time you were so drunk you nearly got his name tattooed, 

It almost felt end game, in bed, your head on his chest

the first time he told you he loved you,

The first time you told him you didn’t. 

Wanderlust

I fell in love

with a nightingale

He took my heart

And flew away

Do not fall in love 

with a nightingale 

They cannot stay

For this you pay

Its the wind 

you see?

It calls them still

It whispers:

Fly away from her

She will never do you good

A home girl and a Wanderer 

will always be apart

So take off now just be a man

Don’t mind her broken heart

The nightingale must fly away

There are so many things to see

I know you want to look at her

But think of Paris, Spain and Italy 

So fly off now don’t be afraid

Her face, it soon will fade

Just remember it is yours, the sky

and soar soar soar 

up high.

Everything and Nothing

Everything made sense with you

Nothing made sense with you

Your Rollercoaster Girl

Spoken Word Poetry

I think you were waiting for me to tell you that you were off the hook three years of your life wasted the sigh of relief at breaking the contract the oath of the long haul smashed my heart in pieces and ate the soft centre the look of surprise as though you were unaware there would be sharp edges blood dripping from your mouth onto our white pillows the ones we bought in the Zara home sale will you still remember my name five years from now and my lollipop tongue will you miss my smell my laugh and think of me sometimes like pepper spray to the eyes it will hurt like the pain I felt when you left remember the Ikea furniture flat pack all over our living room floor there is still a pink stain on the wall from the wine glass I smashed in a temper tantrum like a child I throw things and like an adult you walk away from me but difference is you don’t come back I leave the mark there for proof that I did not imagine our love that felt like forever but turned into regret what do you do when it is painful to stay and painful to go I think I will sit here and wait I think you will walk as fast as you can away from that rollercoaster girl.

You

Happiness looks pretty on us my love 

All I see is you

My heart is full

Is yours too?

Can we stay like this forever my love?

Before I change my mind

Before you do 

Before we find someone new.

In the End

That was how I loved you in the end

From the top of a cliff

Jumping 

A leap of faith in the dark

Falling

with grasping reaching arms

Not knowing 

if you were at the bottom

to catch me

Or not. 

Burnt

Move on, my mother told me.

If you wait for him,

you will be an old woman.

But how long does someone wait

when they would walk through fire

to reach you?