With You

With you,

I didn’t write for a whole year

Because I was so happy,

La la la

In pretty dresses,

My Sunday best,

Your arms warm

wrapped around me like a

fuzzy cocoon,

I didn’t want to wake up.

 

I wrap myself in blankets now,

I traded dresses for trousers,

I don’t wear much makeup anymore;

I am starting to think it was all for you.

Maybe it was,

Perhaps it’s all just a transaction in the end.

 

Perhaps  now I’ll make my own cocoon

And

I will stop waking up at 3am,  wondering how a pillow replaced your chest.

Willow Tree Dreams

My willow tree/
dream
All bark and brown and
leafy green/
Suddenly changes/ the weather tugs
At milk clouds/birds disperse/
A storm ahead/ humid grey and orange streaks
The rain almost disbands in on itself/ Then
An explosion/
A thousand tiny drop-
lets
see what happens next/
The sky said to the willow tree,
As the sun tickled my neck to say hello
And ‘don’t forget about me’/
the sky a purple florid
Then dusk
a pop of white/
I welcomed the milky way /that night
in willow tree dreams

Fight for Us

I always thought we’d find our way back together, somehow, sometime, someplace.                                                                                    And we did. But we were older and we had changed.

You had made me cold.

You left. You were always good at walking away.

You did not look back this time.

You should have told me that you wanted to fight.

NIC[ountry]

 

NIC- newly industrialised person

 

And the word boyfriend sounded foreign to me

As if it should be spoken from another girl’s lips.

When I did say it, it was through a gravel mouth

as though I was cursing your half smile and rough hands

that furrowed brow, how everything was a thought process to you. (Love cannot and should not be analysed, databased or calculated).

And as though I had not heard from you in one hundred years,

I Extricated Myself.

Your ice eyes and my tense body

parts

How quickly

something falls together

Is not how quickly it will fall apart.

Distance can drown your lungs as every gasp of air is filled with someone else’s laugh

maNIC

DNA

That water laugh

all light and salt,

Dead-ly.

End-ed.

He Wore Forgiveness Well

A soul mate is the one who can drag you giggling with forgiveness from the cellar they locked you in.
– SierraDeMuller

 

He wore forgiveness well.

with his half smile and buttoned up shirt

the slight hesitation before he kissed my cheek

the half-hearted apology

 

Ex’s come back to haunt

Dead bodies rise up to the surface in the end

Even when you spend your life burying them

The ghosts in the closet were part of you

You broke my pretty red heart in two.

 

But

He wore forgiveness well.

with his half smile and buttoned up shirt

the slight hesitation before he kissed my cheek

the half-hearted apology.

 

 

-Tina Rose

 

 

I See You

 

I see you in 2012-2013

I see you in the roses in the meadows that grow near my house
I see you in the sun
I see you in March when you came into my life
And I see you in April when you left.
I see you in poetry books
I see you in every charmer
I see you in every gentleman
I see you in your navy blue dressing gown.
I see you in every Runaway Joe
I see your lips on the nape of my neck
I see you with words
I see you on the grass listening to Beethoven
the sun on your face.
I see you every time I watch Batman
I see you in every blade of grass
I see you on Skype
I see you in every set of blue eyes
I see you at your desk staring out of the window
I see you in robots and heavy metal music
I see you in my Lego ring
I see you from Twickenham to Whitton.
I see you in Old House
I see you in your suit and tie
I see you in Dom.
I see you when I’m drunk
I see you in the Midlands
I see you in Watsky
I see you in the colour red
I see you in texts
I see you in passing ships
I see you in northern accents
I see you in gravy and chips.
I see you in every cup of English tea
I see you on the bus back from Varsity.
I see you drunk, walking, holding my hand
I see your fingers interlocking with mine
I see you in every tall man.
I see you in Kingston
I see you on top of me when it’s him
I see you in Spring.
I see you in every hello
but every goodbye.
I see you in your long black coat
I see you in every spoken word poet
I see you in every hug debt
I see you on SnapChat.
I see you in animated movies
I see you in gargoyles
And pictures of demons
I see you in funny youtube videos.
I see you in Rives
And I see you in the sunflower he spoke of.
I see you in every thumb war
I see you in every love bite
I see you on Strawberry Hill
And I love you still.

I can still feel your arms even now

Maybe I wouldn’t be so messed up in the head

If we’d never met,

Knowing that night I should have left,

But I clung to your bed

With my head on your chest.

I can still feel your arms,

Even now.

-Tina Rose